While alcoholism and bipolar disorder often go hand in hand, it can be very difficult living with someone who suffers from one, let alone both.
Alcohol intensifies the affects of bipolar disorder, often substituting the need for medication and becoming a self-medication of it's own. When an individual with Bipolar Disorder is on medication it can work wonders for them, but if they are drinking while on the medication, it can have very bad and reverse affects, often times negating the effects of the medicine, thus causing the person to feel the need to drink more often to feel better.
Alcoholism is by itself a very defeating and painful disease that affects the lives of not just the drinker, but everyone that has a relationship with the drinker. It is important for those that in a relationship to seek knowledge and education about both the drinker and the disease to help them from becoming overly consumed with the problems of the drinker. It's so very easy to become obsessed with what the affected person does, how much they drink, how often, that we soon begin to lose ourselves. It's also very difficult to let go and seek inside ourselves our own strength to support ourselves. If we do not do this, we will become as sick as the drinker is.
Al-Anon is a great beginning for someone who is finding too much of their life consumed by the alcoholic in their life. To find a local Al-Anon meeting near you visit:www.al-anon.alateen.org/
Pathway's of Life
There is always more than one and neither is ever clear.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Monday, June 9, 2008
Most Recent Trouble With the Law
Most recently MDH was sentenced to 18 months probation and 6 months ISP (intensive supervised probation) for an infraction that happened between the two of us after he had been drinking for well over 14 hours.
The long and short is that he came home so bombed he knew not where he was, who I was or what was happening around him. This resulted in a very bad night that is still continuing on.
Most often when MDH drinks he likes to argue and generally I am his 1st or only choice for that argument. On the night of the incident, I didn't want to argue, so I snuck out the back door as he entered the front door and waited for him to pass out. I personally thought this was a very smart move and was secretly quite proud of myself for devising such a clever plan that would prevent a long night, how naive was I?
Though MDH was passed out when I entered my home, he wasn't down for the count, once he came too he was completely lost, irrated and scared, which resulted in a violent display of temper and aggression on his end. He did not know where he was, who I was or what was happening, he was completely blacked out. He was breathing heavy, sweating profusely, pale and his pulse was racing, I ended up calling the cops for fear not of my safety but his own. He was completely out of control. He punched a light and sliced his hand up quite good. I was truly lucky he didn't find it fit to go after me and become violent with me, instead he took it out on the furniture and surroundings.
This unfortunately for him resulted in a charge of Domestic Violence. In our state, he does not have to physically assault me, but rather act agressively in front of me to be charged with Domestic Violence.
His charge has been a blessing and curse. MDH has begun to realize that he can not drink, though I know his battle with the brown bottle is long from over, he has been sentenced by the Courts to Probabtion and ISP that doesn't just control him, but rather our entire family. The upside is that while on ISP he can not drink or he risks going back to jail and serving his jail time of 60 days with possiblity of repeating ISP after.
I am hoping in the end all of this will have been for something and not nothing and the long term affects of the charges and hardship will have a positive effect on our family.
The long and short is that he came home so bombed he knew not where he was, who I was or what was happening around him. This resulted in a very bad night that is still continuing on.
Most often when MDH drinks he likes to argue and generally I am his 1st or only choice for that argument. On the night of the incident, I didn't want to argue, so I snuck out the back door as he entered the front door and waited for him to pass out. I personally thought this was a very smart move and was secretly quite proud of myself for devising such a clever plan that would prevent a long night, how naive was I?
Though MDH was passed out when I entered my home, he wasn't down for the count, once he came too he was completely lost, irrated and scared, which resulted in a violent display of temper and aggression on his end. He did not know where he was, who I was or what was happening, he was completely blacked out. He was breathing heavy, sweating profusely, pale and his pulse was racing, I ended up calling the cops for fear not of my safety but his own. He was completely out of control. He punched a light and sliced his hand up quite good. I was truly lucky he didn't find it fit to go after me and become violent with me, instead he took it out on the furniture and surroundings.
This unfortunately for him resulted in a charge of Domestic Violence. In our state, he does not have to physically assault me, but rather act agressively in front of me to be charged with Domestic Violence.
His charge has been a blessing and curse. MDH has begun to realize that he can not drink, though I know his battle with the brown bottle is long from over, he has been sentenced by the Courts to Probabtion and ISP that doesn't just control him, but rather our entire family. The upside is that while on ISP he can not drink or he risks going back to jail and serving his jail time of 60 days with possiblity of repeating ISP after.
I am hoping in the end all of this will have been for something and not nothing and the long term affects of the charges and hardship will have a positive effect on our family.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Trouble with the Law
It often surprises me how many people get into trouble with the law and no one looks deeper into their lives to see if there may be an underlying cause that assists them with the trouble they may be frequently getting into.
Early in my relationship with and my husband before he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, though suspected of a drinking problem, he was frequently getting into minor scuffles with the law. Most were very minor, though inconvenient, with only one that could have been disastrous. During that time he was thought to be good for nothing and worthless. His parents had virtually given up on him and his relationship with is siblings and children was very strained to say the least. He drank a lot and came and went in a very selfish manner, seemingly to have no care in the world for anyone by himself.
What no one understood then and some still don't understand now, is that his drinking wasn't a selfish disrespect of other's feelings, but rather a selfish form of escape and a way to deal with a problem he didn't know existed and feelings he didn't know how to handle.
During the time he was most seriously in trouble with the law, we still didn't know of his diagnosis, but I was beginning to suspect something wasn't quite right. I had begun to do a lot of reading and research into my husband's symptoms and strange paranoia. It was the paranoia that got him into trouble with the law that night.
MDH had stopped at a local bar that evening to have a beer and a bite to eat, he was also met there by one of his ex-girlfriends, suspecting that I or her boyfriend would be jealous or cause trouble he left fairly quickly. Upon pulling out of the bar, he noticed he was being followed very closely by a car he couldn't identify. His paranoia led him to believe it was someone either myself or the other had sent to hunt him down for whatever reason. He began to speed up and eventually floored his car into a corner lot and ran from his persuer, what he didn't realize or failed to notice (though to this day he stays too his story of no lights) was that he was being followed by an officer of the law, who intentionally intended to pull him over and inform him he had a taillight out.
MDH was eventually found and charged with Fleeing and Alluding. Due to a miracle of God and some good Defense work, it was eventually drooped down to a traffic infraction and had no long lasting significant damage to him or our family. Though his parents and siblings were anything but supportive or understanding about the whole incident. They chalked it off as worthlessness again and continued to treat him as someone they must tolerate, rather than someone to whom they would wish to be around.
It was at this time that I began to suspect he may have bi-polar and began to pray alot. He didn't want to hear it, but did seek out a counselor to begin addressing his ADD. It was still a long time before he was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder, but we were on the right road.
His troubles with the law have never quite ended, he still gets speeding tickets (though thankfully those are getting fewer and further between, knock on wood) and has recently gotten into trouble resulting in Intensive Supervised Probabtion, but we know understand a little bit more of what makes him tick and why he is so prone to trouble and how to better help him.
Early in my relationship with and my husband before he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, though suspected of a drinking problem, he was frequently getting into minor scuffles with the law. Most were very minor, though inconvenient, with only one that could have been disastrous. During that time he was thought to be good for nothing and worthless. His parents had virtually given up on him and his relationship with is siblings and children was very strained to say the least. He drank a lot and came and went in a very selfish manner, seemingly to have no care in the world for anyone by himself.
What no one understood then and some still don't understand now, is that his drinking wasn't a selfish disrespect of other's feelings, but rather a selfish form of escape and a way to deal with a problem he didn't know existed and feelings he didn't know how to handle.
During the time he was most seriously in trouble with the law, we still didn't know of his diagnosis, but I was beginning to suspect something wasn't quite right. I had begun to do a lot of reading and research into my husband's symptoms and strange paranoia. It was the paranoia that got him into trouble with the law that night.
MDH had stopped at a local bar that evening to have a beer and a bite to eat, he was also met there by one of his ex-girlfriends, suspecting that I or her boyfriend would be jealous or cause trouble he left fairly quickly. Upon pulling out of the bar, he noticed he was being followed very closely by a car he couldn't identify. His paranoia led him to believe it was someone either myself or the other had sent to hunt him down for whatever reason. He began to speed up and eventually floored his car into a corner lot and ran from his persuer, what he didn't realize or failed to notice (though to this day he stays too his story of no lights) was that he was being followed by an officer of the law, who intentionally intended to pull him over and inform him he had a taillight out.
MDH was eventually found and charged with Fleeing and Alluding. Due to a miracle of God and some good Defense work, it was eventually drooped down to a traffic infraction and had no long lasting significant damage to him or our family. Though his parents and siblings were anything but supportive or understanding about the whole incident. They chalked it off as worthlessness again and continued to treat him as someone they must tolerate, rather than someone to whom they would wish to be around.
It was at this time that I began to suspect he may have bi-polar and began to pray alot. He didn't want to hear it, but did seek out a counselor to begin addressing his ADD. It was still a long time before he was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder, but we were on the right road.
His troubles with the law have never quite ended, he still gets speeding tickets (though thankfully those are getting fewer and further between, knock on wood) and has recently gotten into trouble resulting in Intensive Supervised Probabtion, but we know understand a little bit more of what makes him tick and why he is so prone to trouble and how to better help him.
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